MY TRILLION BUSINESS

wi-tribe says its now No.1 Top 5 Broadband Service Provider technology Neutral

Rank       Service Provider    Grade
1              wi-tribe                        A
2              Wateen Telecoms
3               PTCL Broadband


wi-tribe is No.1 thank you, our customers
In just over one year of service in Pakistan, we are proud to be recognized by PTA as the country's highest quality and fastest growing Broadband Service Provider.
with a firm commitment to customer satisfaction, we are Pakistan's true broadband experience.
Come join the No.1 broadband family!
Now also at local retail outlets.
For Details Visit  http://www.wi-tribe.pk/
Contact Numbers :
111-187-423

London college of Accountancy
LCA in the centre of London and started the specialise in professional accountancy and management courses
LCA provide high quality, affordable tuition with flexible study options.
Scholarships is Available for UK
LCA will be lanuch a seminars series from 22nd to 25th October 2010 in Pakistan















For more Datiels :
Pakistan Office
Office # 302,303 3rd Floor ,Garden Heights, 8 aibak Block , New Garden Town , Lahore.
Tel: +92(42)35941916-7
Fax: +92(42)35831918
nr@londoncollege.org
http://www.londoncollege.org/





USA, University of South Asia is one of the main computer education universty in pakistan.USA is sarted the Bcs and BSCS program .University of South Asia`s BSCS program is a unique program .University of South Asia is intrested in all pakistani city and want to setup computer traning and software development centers. USA offered Intermediate and Bachelors programs in the field of Computer Science. in these centers students will be hierd by USA for developing software for international Software markets.
100% JOB Guaranteed 

If you have a suitable place of your own and are interested in participating in this
" War for Survival of Pakistan " you are invited to become "USA Business Partner".

• 2 degrees in 4 years [First Bachelors in 2 years and Second Bachelors (Hons)in next 2 years].
• 3 years practical experience during 4 years of studies.
• USA (University of South Asia )offer Guaranteed  job after 1 year of studies ,a salary of RS 50,000 after BSCS .

University of South Asia  is Charted by Govt of Punjab
and recognized by HEC
For further information and details
Call  0300-8100101

Main Campus

47, Tufail Road ,Lahore Cantt
Ph# 042-36672942-5

Gulberg Campus

29, B-3, Gulberg 3 Lahore

admission@usa.edu.pk

Country                    Careline Number                    Call Charge Type     

Algeria                            09820 66 542                           Local charge
Bahrain                           800 4100                                  Toll-Free
Egypt                              19876                                       Local charge
Iran                                021 23013                                 Local charge
Jordan                            065343232                                Local charge
Kuwait                           2251616                                    Local charge
Lebanon                         01278222                                  Local charge
Morocco                        082066542                                Local charge
Oman                             800 797 96                                Toll-Free
Pakistan *                      11 11 Nokia (66542)                  Local charge
Qatar                             0044 207 365 5309                    International charge
Saudia                            800 844 1457                            Toll-Free
United Arab Emirates     8000 444 9813                           Toll-Free
Vemen                           0044 207 365 5305                    International charge

* Use area code when calling from a mobile phone or when calling from outside
    Karachi, Lahore, Psehawar, Quetta, Rawalpindi, Hyderabad, Sukkur, Fsisalabad,
    Multan, Gujranwala and Sialkot.

iPad with Wi-Fi+3G

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Teacher : Why are you late?

Student : My dad told me to take our cow to bull.

Teacher :  (Angrily) Can't your dad do it?

Student : No, Only bull can do it.

World's Smallest Resignation Letter

Dear Sir,

I Love Your Wife.

Thank You.

Are you looking to lose weight and have heard about the incredible weight loss results from Chinese Slimming Tea? There is now a way for you to get high quality green diet tea at home. Green tea can help you lose weight and boost your energy; and you make it at home.
Losing weight has become a serious issue in the world and an obsession in many lives. Fad diets and false-promise pills only worsen the problem by making many feel like there is no hope for them to live a healthy life. Many factors contribute to the high rate of obesity, which lately most affects residents of the United States. More sedentary jobs, less time spent outside and the proliferation of electronic devices which steal our attention all take our time away from activities the body needs to burn fat.

Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

Slender Shaper is a simple, fast and effective massaging exercise belt utilizing a unique, invigorating, dual oscillating system targeting the parts of the body that you wish to tone and sculpt. It combines tapping, oscillating and vibrating programs that relieves muscle tension.

Just wear Slender Shaper around your abs, buns, thighs, shoulders, calves or underarms and it does all the work for you without having to go to the gym.

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Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

Are you tired of starving yourself with shakes, pills and fad diets and not getting the results you want? Are you tired of trying everything under the sun to get in shape, only to wind up fatter? Then you need to give your abs the royal treatment. Introducing, the ABKING PRO SYSTEM, one of the fastest, easiest ways to get the flat, sexy, and incredible Abs !

Look, many products and exercises only work your abs on the way up. But the ABKING PRO's amazing design brings you below parallel by as much as 200- degrees adding that extra range of motion to target your upper, middle, lower abs and obliques all at the same time for an incredibly efficient workout. With the amazing Ab King Pro you'll help flatten that stomach and help eliminate love handles in weeks - not months -we guarantee it.

Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

Air Lounge, the amazingly comfortable, amazingly convenient sofa, lounger, recliner and fold out bed, all in one.
plug in the Jet Propulsion Pump and in less than 3-minutes, the Air Lounge inflates into a full sized sofa that fits perfectly into any room in your home. unfold it and instantly, it converts into a an incredibly comfortable air mattress. Or flip it over and you’ve got a chaise lounge recliner. The Air Lounge Surround Suspension Air Technology supports your body on air


Made from Heavy Duty PVC Material

Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

The Sauna Belt helps you to sweat away unwanted fat, eliminate cellulite, lose weight and ease muscle pain. All while in the comfort of your own home.

The Sauna Belt focuses the sauna heat on the most problematic body parts to help flush out and eliminate toxins. Just apply the sauna belt around the chosen body part and let the sauna belt do all the work.

Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

The amazing Nicer Dicer will make your life easier, safer and more fun in the kitchen. Dice, chop or julienne fruit, vegetables, cheese fresh herbs and a whole lot more in minutes (even seconds)!
Put down that knife and give your eyes a rest when chopping fresh onions. All of the chopped ingredients transfer instantly from the cutting surface into the polycarbonate Nicer Dicer bowl. There’s no need to make a mess of your counter-top anymore.
Nicer Dicer is so easy and useful; you'll use it for every meal! Dice, Chop or Julienne your favorite fruits and vegetables with Nicer Dicer. It's easy! Nicer Dicer is also safe enough for your whole family to use.
Nicer Dicer features:

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■ Easy Clean up

Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

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Telephone +92 42 35169750-51
+923009407012
+923219407012
Address 194/E, N-Block, Model Town, Lahore. Pakistan

Now and then, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety presentation and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some of the better ones that are flying around the web:

1. Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

2. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines."

3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!"

4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

5. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

6. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."

7. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

10. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

11. "Last one off the plane must clean it."

12. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."

13. This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?"

15. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

16. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.

Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.

Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.

Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.

Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.

Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.

Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.

Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.

Engineers: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

Dear hubby,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either, you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife
P.S.: Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed/-
Your Ex-Husband,
Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S.: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem.

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Here Is A Funny SMS
Santa: Are Yaar Banta Agar Koi Admi Marr Raha Ho Too Uske Muh me Kya Dalna Chayeh...?Banta : Ambuja Cement Kyun Ke Is Cement Me JAAN He .

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President.
The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.
He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down. That's a post turtle."

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.SIGN HERE: Aries.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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